josh and jen on beach
Parent Friendly Products

Swim Suits

Up until I had kids, I never really gave much thought to a swim suit. My impression of a suit was any pair of shorts that would dry fast enough for me to not worry about changing constantly. It also couldn’t have large pockets that weighed me down. Which is strange when I look at the typical apparel for middle aged dads like myself.

josh and jen on beach

I have never been fond of the cargo shorts, but for some reason this appears to be a staple in the “dad fashion” world. In the words of my wife “thank god” I am not very fashion conscious. I have literally been wearing the same “uniform” for my entire life. Jeans and a T-shirt. For proof here is the evidence:

My point being, despite rocking an amazing dad bod at this point in time, I have been pretty true to myself regarding fashion. At this stage in my life I look at the swim suits available and wonder “wtf America?” At what point did we go back to the infamous “ball hangers” of the 70’s and early 80’s? Also, why?

My standard swim suit has always been the knee length boardshorts from companies like Hurley (shameless advertisement), Billabong, Quicksilver, and at an early age I even wore the OP chords.

Swim Suits for men vs. women vs. every other gender out there, is not a one size fits all. We all have different needs and different bodies. Aside from that, not all of us are comfortable owning their kick ass dad-bod with confidence.

My wife recently has been in the market for some new swim suits. A really cool neighbor gave her some that she no longer fit into and Jen spent all night trying them on. As a good husband, I graciously accepted the job of watching her try them on while not busting the seams. I think this is where life gets complicated.

I still find my wife attractive. Greater than 20 years together and I still jump at the chance to watch her put on a fashion show. I cannot remember a single moment where she has jumped at the chance to watch me try on swim suits. Except that one time in college where I had to actually wear her suit to the beach (infamous mankini) after losing a bet. I am horrible at betting on basketball but will never back out of a promise.

At some juncture we all have to realize the difference that mens fashion is purely color and maybe texture, but women… They have the vast majority of options here. If you are a retailer, this is why you market towards women and not men. I get that, but my wife doesn’t see it that way. She continues to drag my kick-ass dad-bod to the store so I can wedge my aging gray haired coin purse into a set of different colored trunks. For no godly reason she makes me parade them around the store.

As a good husband I comply. Luckily though, I now have “affiliate marketing” opportunities to purchase my swim trunks online. So I implore all of you dads out there to consider clicking that sponsor link for hurley and purchasing your next suit before your wife drags you away from another epic surf session to try on clothing. Lets face it, we know where we stand, and will likely be wearing the same “uniform” until we die. So click the ad below and do yourself a favor… get something comfortable that fits your style


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